Going Home


The weekend before I started the internship, my dad wanted me to come home. I hadn’t planned on going, but when Daddy calls I can’t say no. I love being home, so I was excited. I was also nervous. I hadn’t been back since things started with my brother-in-law. I hoped no one would sense something was different with me. My brother-in-law told me not to worry. He said I have an impressive way of compartmentalizing (he had to explain to me what that meant 🤷) and he was sure my family would not detect anything.

It was weird because I knew the affair with my brother-in-law was wrong, but I wasn’t looking forward to being away from him. Since the week my sister was away, we were together every day. Fucking me 22 days straight! Going home meant we would be apart 3 days. He said it was good to take a break, because when I got back we were definitely breaking that record.

I needn’t have worried about my visit. My family didn’t suspect anything. My father at times can tell when something is going on with me. I am a daddy’s girl. He said he would miss me over the Summer, but he was very pleased I was interning at my brother-in-law’s work. He thought it was a great opportunity for me, totally clueless about what was going on.

My youngest brother, who knows me better than anyone, said I seemed happier than ever. He’s 2 years older and my total best friend. We talk or text every day. He thought the break up with my boyfriend was necessary. When he asked if I was interested in anyone else, I told him no. He said it might do me good to be single for a while. If I was going to tell anyone about my brother-in-law it would be him. I never would, but he’s the only one I would trust.

I saw my ex-bf while I was home. I called him because I didn’t like breaking up over the phone. I apologized for not answering his calls or texts after our last conversation. He asked me if I was sure about breaking up. I was. Seeing him, I felt nothing. That’s when I knew for sure I did the right thing.

It was a good 3 days. The affair had been going on almost 3 months and after the visit I was more confident that we could keep the secret. (June 2018)

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